It’s 2am within the obstetrics and gynaecology emergency division of Assahaba Medical Complicated in Gaza Metropolis. By means of the open home windows, I can hear the endless hum of drones within the sky above, however except for that, it’s quiet. A breeze flows via the empty corridor, granting aid from the warmth, and a gentle blue glow emanates from the few lights which can be on. I’m six months right into a yearlong internship and 12 hours right into a 16-hour shift. I’m so drained that I may go to sleep right here on the admissions desk, however within the calm, a uncommon sense of peace envelopes me.
It’s quickly shattered by a lady crying in ache. She is bleeding and gripped by cramps. We study her and inform her that she has misplaced her unborn child – the kid she has dreamed of assembly. The girl was newly married, however only a month after her marriage ceremony, her husband was killed in an air raid. The kid she was carrying – a 10-week-old embryo – was their first and might be their final.
Her face is pale, as if her blood has frozen with the shock. There’s anguish, denial, and screams. Her screams draw the eye of others, who collect round her as she falls to the bottom. We revive her, solely to return her to her struggling. However now she is silent – there are not any cries, no expression. Having misplaced her husband, she now endures the ache of shedding what she hoped could be a residing reminiscence of him.
Life insists on arriving
It’s my sixth night time shift in obstetrics and gynaecology. I’m speculated to rotate via different departments – spending two months in every – however I’ve already determined to turn out to be a gynaecologist throughout this rotation. Being on this ward brings pleasure to my life – it’s the place life begins, and it teaches me that hope is current whatever the horrible issues we’re enduring.
Giving delivery in a conflict zone – amid bombing, starvation, and concern – means life and loss of life coexist. Generally, I nonetheless battle to know how life insists on arriving on this place surrounded by loss of life.
It amazes me that moms proceed to carry kids right into a world wherein survival feels unsure. If the bombings don’t take us, starvation would possibly. However what surprises me most is the resilience and endurance of my individuals. They imagine their kids will dwell on to hold an vital message: That irrespective of what number of you could have killed, Gaza responds by refusing to be erased.
Childbirth is much from straightforward. It’s bodily and emotionally exhausting, and moms in Gaza endure excruciating ache with out entry to fundamental ache aid. Since March, the hospital has seen a extreme scarcity of fundamental provides, together with ache aid treatment and anaesthetics. After they cry out as I sew their tear wounds with out anaesthesia, I really feel helpless, however I attempt to distract them by telling them how lovely their infants are and reassuring them that they’ve gotten via the toughest half.
With fixed starvation right here, many pregnant girls are fatigued and don’t acquire sufficient weight throughout being pregnant. When the time involves ship, they’re exhausted even earlier than they start to push. Because of this, their labour may be extended, which implies extra ache for the mom. If a child’s heartbeat slows, she would possibly want an emergency Cesarean part.
Practising medication right here is much from excellent. Hospitals are overwhelmed, and assets are severely restricted. We’re continuously battling shortages of medical provides. On each night time shift, I work with one gynaecologist, three nurses and three midwives. I often take care of the better duties, resembling assessing circumstances, suturing small tear wounds, and helping with regular deliveries. A gynaecologist takes the extra difficult instances, and a surgeon performs the elective and emergency Caesarean sections.
The surgeon all the time reminds us to minimise the consumption of gauze and sutures as a lot as doable, and to save lots of them for the following affected person who could arrive in determined want. I attempt to discard and substitute gauze solely after it’s fully saturated with blood.
Energy outages make issues much more troublesome. The electrical energy cuts out a number of instances a day, plunging the supply room into darkness. In these moments, now we have no alternative however to change on our telephone flashlights to information our palms.
Throughout a current shift, the electrical energy went out for almost 10 minutes after a child was born. The mom’s placenta hadn’t been delivered but, so we used our telephone lights to assist her.
Lots of the greatest medical professionals in Gaza have been killed, like Dr Basel Mahdi and his brother, Dr Raed Mahdi, each gynaecologists. They have been killed whereas on obligation at Mahdi Maternity Hospital in November 2023. Numerous others have fled Gaza.
More often than not, the medical doctors round me are too overworked to supply steerage or educate me the sensible expertise I had hoped to be taught, although they fight their greatest.
Nonetheless, some moments pierce via the exhaustion and remind me why I selected this path within the first place. These encounters stick with me longer than any lecture or textbook may.

At daybreak, a brand new child
Throughout one shift, a pregnant lady got here in for a routine check-up, accompanied by her five-year-old daughter, whose smile lit up the room. She had come to be taught the newborn’s gender.
As I ready the ultrasound, I turned and playfully requested the little woman, “Would you like it to be a boy or a lady?”
With out hesitation, she stated, “A boy.”
Shocked by her certainty, I gently requested why. Earlier than she may reply, her mom quietly defined. “She doesn’t need a woman. She’s afraid she’ll lose her – like she misplaced her older sister, who was killed on this newest assault.”
One other day, a lady in her tenth week of being pregnant got here to the obstetrics clinic after being informed by a health care provider that her child’s coronary heart was not beating. As I carried out an ultrasound to test the fetus, to my shock and aid, I detected a heartbeat.
The girl cried with pleasure. On that day, I witnessed life the place it was thought to have been misplaced.
Tragedy touches each a part of our lives in Gaza. It’s woven into our most intimate moments, even across the pleasure of anticipating a brand new life. Security is a luxurious we’ve by no means identified.
At 6am, as daybreak breaks on the morning of my shift, we welcome a brand new child born to a mom from the Jabalia camp in northern Gaza, an space surrounded by Israeli troopers and tanks. As the primary rays of daylight pierce the supply room, the mom cries completely happy tears, her face flushed as she hugs her child woman.
Having endured an evening full of concern, missiles, and snipers, the mom and her household managed to achieve the hospital safely. On this second, they rejoice and discover a motive to hope once more.